So, I decide that today is the day that I am finally going to prime the jaguar. I got up early, did some finish sanding, pulled the car out into the sunlight. It was the absolute perfect day to paint a car. A light whisper of wind 2-3 mph just enough to keep you cool but not enough to blow anything on the car. 77 degrees and 50% humidity, exactly as described by the instructions on the back of the paint can. It doesn’t get better than this, everything on the back of the can is coming true. I could feel it, today was a day that things were just going to go right. I washed the car meticulously, and then wiped it with a solvent cleaner. Unlike my collegeworks days, I spent the morning really doing the prep work properly, so that the job would be done right, and the paint would last.
As I was masking off the instrument cluster, I looked over and saw boomer, laying a massive dump approximately 4 feet from the car. Just in the right place that as I am walking around it painting and not looking, I will step in it. Great. I just accepted the fact that I was going to step in shit, and moved on. If that’s the worst that happens today, I am a lucky man. After the car was masked, I took a step back to admire my handiwork. The car was gleaming, perfectly clean, and masked properly, just waiting for a shiny new coat of primer. Now was the time to get a cool drink, and gather my wits for the task ahead of me. I went inside, poured a tall glass of water and researched the finer points of spray painting a car.
Upon returning outside 15 minutes later, my eyes met the following scene. There are 3 freshly dug holes approximately 1 foot in diameter and 1 foot deep about 6 feet from the car. Boomer is digging the third hole with vigor, and is literally throwing dirt all over my freshly cleaned and masked car. He clearly used a similar approach with the other two holes, because there is dirt caked all over the top of the car. What the fuck? With the entire yard at his disposal, why did the dog decide to dig these holes directly next to the car I’m trying to paint. Why did he need to direct himself at such an angle so that 97-98% of the dirt he was flinging was going onto the car? As I began to verbally berate my four legged friend for his poor judgement, I heard it. Buzzzzz…. Buzzzzz…. Oh SHIT!
Now think to yourself, the dog has already taken a dump immediately next to the car, and thrown mud and grass all over the freshly cleaned car. What could he possibly do to make this situation worse. Much worse. He could say…theoretically…dig up three gigantic underground hornets nests within spitting distance from the car I am trying to paint. Yeah, that would really fuck with my day. Well that’s exactly what he did. The back of the paint car does not give any guidance as to what to do about mud, hornets, or dog shit. Regardless, I sprayed copious amounts of bee and wasp killer, put on my dad’s shoes in anticipation of the dog shit, and re-washed the car. From there on out, it was smooth sailing. This is a picture of the result. I think it looks killer. Thanks for all of your help.